


Her Eyes

by scifiobsession



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Age Difference, Anal Sex, Consent, First Time, Gay Sex, Gryffindor, Gryffindor/Slytherin Inter-House Relationships, Hogwarts Inter-House Relationships, M/M, Penetration, Sex, Slytherin, Teacher-Student Relationship, snarry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-05
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2020-04-08 03:20:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 14,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19098712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scifiobsession/pseuds/scifiobsession
Summary: More than eighteen years have passed, but that doesn't change the way that Snape feels about Lily. Never in his life did he think he would see so much of her in her son. The two start to bond over the loss of her when something else seems to spark.





	1. Her Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> This story takes place in an AU in which Harry learns Snape’s history with his mother without him dying.

“Page 42 will give instructions on how to increase and decrease the potency of all potions that include bear claw,” Snape said, pacing the room as his students stood sweating over boiling cauldrons. “Use that information carefully and you may just be able to get this one right.” He strode around, peering over the shoulders of each student to gauge how they were doing.  
Harry stood over his cauldron, a look of frustration on his face as he cut the root he was trying to add to his cauldron. “Damn!” he whispered under his breath as he restarted each time after the potion refused to take his cuts. He looked around the room, watching multiple others struggle with the same issue. The class was advanced potions, and it seemed to him that its content was living up to its name. He wiped the sweat from his forehead and grabbed a new root to cut. He studied the text book, searching for alternatives to his previous methods. He wiped off the knife and turned back to begin to cut it again.  
“Vertical cuts, Mr. Potter,” a voice mumbled quietly behind him.  
Harry turned around to see Professor Snape, standing behind him and watching carefully.  
“Vertical,” he repeated.  
Harry responded, “Thank you, professor.” Before quickly turning back, making several vertical cuts along the root. He added them to the cauldron, perfectly completing the potion.  
It had been nearly two weeks since Professor McGonagall confided in Harry about the history between his mother and his professor. She explained to him that, despite his mothers passing, and roughly eighteen years, he had never taken interest in another soul. Naturally, Harry was shocked, having believed all along that Snape’s attitude towards him was either malicious or some form of humbling. A few days after processing this information, he confronted his professor.  
*flashback* “Professor?” Harry called softly, walking to Snape’s desk after everyone else had filed out of the room.  
“Yes, Mr. Potter?” Snape’s head was down, reading from a piece of parchment that he was holding.  
Harry had paused for a moment, gathering his thoughts, and preparing himself. “I’ve recently spoken with Professor McGonagall. She gave me some information I was hoping I could discuss with you.”  
It became clear that the professor had stopped reading, though he was still in the position as though he was. “Go on.”  
“Sir, she informed me that you were very close with my mother.”  
He stood up and slowly walked across the room, looking out the window. “How much did she tell you?” He asked slowly, vocally not letting on to his discomfort, but physically allowing it to just barely show.  
“I believe she told me everything.”  
He still refused to look at Harry, thus letting on further to his discomfort. “I see.” He waited a moment before he turned and returned to his desk, sitting down and finally facing him. “And you have come here to,” he paused once more, “mock me? Interrogate me?” He asked, never fluctuating from his relatively monotone, yet somewhat voluptuous tone of voice.  
“No, professor, not at all,” Harry had begun, quickly trying to cover himself. “I would just really love to know more about her,” he finally sat down in the chair that sat to the side of Snape’s desk. “It seems you’re one of the only people who knew her that well aside from my father.”  
*end* Harry had described the conversation as one of the most uncomfortable experiences in his life. Despite that, Snape had agreed to meet with Harry after classes briefly to tell him as much as he could about his late mother. While uncomfortable to start, each meeting became slightly less so. Harry was desperate to learn more about his family, aside from what they were know for; their deaths. He listened to his professor’s stories and tried to imagine what he would do in certain circumstances. Snape became more comfortable as he finally had an outlet to discuss his memories of Lily. The two were bonding over her late memory.  
It had gotten to a point where each of them started to look forward to their meetings. Harry couldn’t help but let go of most of his past anger. Now, Snape was helping him with his potions. They both seemed a bit confused by their new relationship, but neither thought to question it.  
“Well done,” the professor said, looking at Harry’s potion. He remarked about each of the students’ final products, many of which were failed do to improper use of the root the professor had helped Harry with.  
Class ended and the room cleared. Snape stood at the door, watching each student leave. In the meantime, Harry seated himself at the front of the desk. Snape turned around after the last of them were gone, shutting the door. Harry watched the door shut heavily. It was so ornate; a fact which never ceased to amaze Harry despite his years at the school. The difference between his life before and his life now was incredible, and he couldn’t seem to shake it.  
“I was thinking about something for the past few days. I’ve been eager to share this one with you,” the professor remarked, not making anytime for a transition or greeting. “I believe it was the summer before our first year, because your mother was having a falling out with her sister,” he paused. “Jealousy likely drove it. Petunia was a wretched little thing anyway.”  
Harry laughed shortly. “Not much has changed.”  
Snape rolled his eyes. “She was about to –,” he was cut off as an owl flew in the window and dropped a letter right in front of him.  
He picked it up and read it. “Wonderful,” he remarked sarcastically. He turned to Harry. “This will have to be put on hold. I have a mandatory meeting in ten minutes.”  
“Not much notice,” Harry responded.  
“It never is.” He tossed the envelope aside and looked at Harry. “We can continue this after next class.”  
Before he thought twice, Harry blurted out “you could tell me over dinner tonight.”  
Snape looked up at him immediately. Harry’s heart jumped a bit. “Wh-”  
“That didn’t come out how I meant it,” Harry said quickly, cutting Snape off from questioning him. “I just meant I am very interested in hearing this story, and it is a Friday so I don’t have class for a few days. Obviously you’re very busy, though, so I would love to pick this up next class.” Embarrassed, Harry went to stand up.  
“There’s a room a few halls down from the Slytherin Common Room. Would you like to meet there at seven?” Snape asked, his gaze once again away from Harry.  
Harry was taken aback at first, but smiled slightly. “That would be fine. I’ll see you then, professor.” He struggled to hold back the grin that was forming on his lips as he stood up and opened the door. He walked back to his dormitory to put his things away.


	2. Severus

Harry was dressing in his dormitory when Ron walked in. He was wearing his house sweater and a pair of black trousers, tying his shoes against the bed frame.  
“Are you almost ready, Harry?” Ron asked, grabbing Harry’s comb and running it through his own hair.  
“Damnit, I totally forgot, I’m so sorry, Ron,” Harry said, completely having forgot his plans to go to dinner with Ron and Hermione. “I can’t make it tonight.” He apologized again. “I promised a couple first years that I would help them study for their potions exams,” he lied.  
“What the hell are you doing that for?” Ron asked. “You know they’re helpless in Snape’s class no matter what,” he joked. “You sure?”  
“Yeah, tell Hermione I’m sorry, okay?”  
“Yeah, alright. See you,” Ron replied with an eye roll. He turned to walk out before Harry loudly cleared his throat, causing Ron to turn back. Harry grabbed his comb out of Ron’s hand and started on his own, shutting the door behind him.   
His heart was pounding slightly. He wasn’t quite sure why, but he was anxious. His relationship with his professor was changing, and meeting outside of the classroom was one step further. He walked to the washroom and brushed his teeth, checking his hair again in the mirror before finally leaving the room and heading out.  
Meanwhile, Snape was already waiting in the room. The “room” was more of a staircase behind a door, leading up to a fairly hidden balcony. He stood with his hands on the railing of the balcony, looking out into the darkening sky. His face was flat as he was trying to figure out what he was getting himself into. He was developing friendly relationship with a student from his house’s biggest rival house. He couldn’t help himself, though. Harry reminded him so much of his mother. Harry was like a glimpse into his own past with the only woman he had ever loved. So, a table sat behind him, two plates and glasses and sets of utensils covering the tablecloth.  
Harry made his way to the room, opened the door and climbed the stairs. His heart jumped a little when he saw Snape standing there at the railing; his cloak blowing in the breeze. He cleared his throat in order to get the attention of the professor without seeming like he was sneaking up on him.   
Snape turned around and looked at Harry. “Oh, hello Potter.”  
“Good evening, professor, have you been waiting long for me?” The sky was a light purplish color as the sun was setting.   
“No, hardly at all. It wouldn’t matter anyway. I like to come up here to organize my thoughts. It is perfectly secluded.” The professor made his way over to the table, motioning for Harry to do the same.   
Harry seated himself across from Snape, intrigued by him saying he frequents the location. It was an area of the castle in which Harry had never been before. In fact, he hadn’t known it existed. It was a space with a melancholy feel to it; likely ideal for putting together one’s thoughts, or separating oneself from others for some alone time. Harry was curious why he had never seen it before from the outside.  
Before either of them went to speak again, Snape lifted his wand, waved it over the table, and made their dinners appear. Their plates were filled with chicken and vegetables and potatoes, their glasses were full, and two small dishes of fruit appeared.   
“Wow,” Harry remarked. “This looks lovely. Thank you, professor.”  
The two began to eat as Snape continued to recall the story from before. He told Harry of a time he and Lily went on an adventure through a nearby forest. He recalled that they made the situation significantly scarier in their heads, as it was a small forest in the middle of the day. He said that they had climbed a tree and had a picnic lunch together on the branches. Lily had packed a couple sandwiches and he had brought some milk. He continued from this story onto one that happened a few years later. He discussed that she had been there as a support for him; possibly his only one.  
“And that is one of ten thousand reasons that I could never forget her, and why I will always miss her,” he said, his voice breaking just slightly. Harry was as shocked as Snape about the professor opening up to him. Snape sat back a bit in his chair and regained the composure he had allowed to crack slightly. He cleared his throat and picked up his napkin to wipe his mouth.   
Harry felt empathetic for him. He had always longed to know more about his late parents, but it hadn’t quite occurred to him just how it could affect Snape; being forced to relive memories he had been struggling with for what was going on twenty years. His stomach knotted up. He leaned forward and put his hand across the table and onto Snape’s, whose eyes darted up at Harry instantly upon the touch.   
“I’m so sorry, sir. I shouldn’t have forced you to relive that.” Harry tried to meet his eyes.  
Their hands were still touching, neither acknowledging it, but neither pulling away at the same time. “You aren’t forcing me to do anything,” Snape responded. He just sat there for a moment, allowing the silence to be as awkward or uncomfortable as it desired before he finally looked up and met Harry’s eyes. “I see so much of her in you, Potter. You look like your father, but you have a lot of your mother’s qualities.”  
“A lot of people say I have her eyes,” Harry remarked. His professor’s skin was smooth under his hand, and he suddenly found himself not wanting it to leave his hand.  
“You do,” he responded. “You have her compassion as well. That sense of empathy for people, even if they didn’t deserve to be given empathy. I see that in you as well.” With that comment, he stood up and slowly returned to his place at the balcony railing. The sun was even lower, and the night shadows were covering most of what was around them. He seemed to be looking at something beyond the balcony, but it wasn’t discernable. “I apologize for unpacking all of that on you, Potter. Thank you for having dinner with me tonight, though. It is nice to relive past memories sometimes. It is just important to know how much or how little to share.” He was still facing away from Harry.  
Harry stood up and slowly made his way over to the balcony railing as well. He wasn’t sure what was coming over him, but he felt full of adrenaline and didn’t intend to do much to stop it. In a moment he was standing right beside Snape. “Don’t ever feel the need to apologize,” he said, putting his hand over his professor’s once again.  
Snape turned and looked at him, meeting his eyes in a curious manner. Harry pulled their hands from the railing and took the professor’s in his own. His stomach was in knots, and he felt he might be sick, but something was urging him onto Snape. He felt drawn to him. They spent a moment just looking at one another before Harry took his other hand in an instant and wrapped it around his head, bringing them together. He kissed Snape gently with one drawn out kiss. In his head he was asking himself “what the fuck are you doing?” but on the outside, he could not help himself. He was just about to pull away and worry about the repercussions of his actions when he slowly felt Snape start to kiss him back. They kissed a moment longer before the professor pulled away.  
“Wait, this is not right,” Snape said, pulling himself away. “I should go.” He turned and started to leave.   
Harry grabbed his sleeve. “Wait!” He didn’t quite know what else to say. “Just, wait a moment.”  
“There is no ‘wait a moment,’ Potter. I am a professor. You are a student. This never should have happened. We never should have met here.” He was tense and he would not meet Harry’s eyes.   
“It doesn’t matter,” Harry responded, tense as well. “I’m an adult and you are an adult. Titles are irrelevant.” He was stumbling.   
“Titles are not irrelevant. This could get me fired and you expelled. You are eighteen years old. I am far to old for you even if we had met under other circumstances.” He tugged at the sleeve Harry had hold of.  
“Trust me, it won’t,” Harry said. His heart was racing a mile a minute, and his breaths were short. “And age is most certainly an irrelevant title.” He grabbed Snape by the cloak and pulled him close to him again. Only this time, he didn’t kiss him. They stood there, centimeters apart, able to feel each other’s breath against their cheeks. Harry leaned his forehead against the older man’s. The moment was tense, and a feeling of want and desire was palpable. “Please,” he whispered.  
Snape’s mind was whirling. Harry could practically see him working through his options of what to do in the situation. It was obvious that Snape wanted to kiss him, but he knew that the repercussions significantly seemed to out way the rewards. He felt himself pushing against Harry as well, and felt desire start to take over. He closed his eyes, cursing himself internally for making the weak decision. Quietly, he whispered, “we need to get out of the public, someone might see us.”  
“Where?” asked Harry, adrenaline still coursing through him.   
“That’s just it, there is nowhere,” Snape responded.  
Harry thought a moment. “Your quarters. We certainly can’t go to mine.”  
“No.”  
“It will work. You have your own private space.”  
“No.”  
“Please,” Harry begged quietly.  
Snape felt his adrenaline rising as well. “Fuck it,” he whispered under his breath before making a clean break for the door. The two of them walked quickly to the Slytherin Common Room; the entrance of which shared an entrance way with Snape’s quarters. He went in first and looked around before pulling Harry through the door and locking it quickly behind him.   
The moment he heard the door lock, Harry pushed himself on his professor; this time with significantly less resistance. He kissed him swiftly, one arm around the older man’s waist and one hand in his hair. Snape put both arms on Harry’s waist, feeling the movement of him swaying as they kissed. They spent a few moments like this, experiencing the utter newness of the situation.   
Snape broke away from the kiss and moved to sit on the edge of his bed. Harry followed, letting his professor take him by the waist and pull him down on top of him; laying kisses on his lips the whole way. Harry had managed to pull Snape’s cloak off before the two laid on his bed. Harry let his hands run over the fabric that covered Snape’s chest as he went along trapesing kisses down his neck. He was unexperienced but knew what felt good to someone else. He stopped right around Snape’s collar bone and nibbled there slightly.  
“Oh, Harry,” Snape gasped quietly in a low tone before Harry retraced his kisses back up the man’s neck and to his mouth. It was the first time that Snape had referred to Harry by his first name. Snape reached out and grabbed his wand, waving it quickly and tossing it away again once some soft music started to play.   
The two made out a while longer; agreeing they wouldn’t have sex, despite being well aroused, but not ready to leave each other just yet. There was so much adrenaline and testosterone between the two that they could hardly breathe; arms around one another in a desperate sort of way. They had already learned so many of each other’s trigger points. Snape grazed his teeth on the edge of Harry’s earlobe, causing the younger of the two to gasp.  
“Oh, sir”  
“Call me by my name,” Snape growled softly, rubbing a circular pattern on Harry’s hips and once again focusing his teeth on that sensitive spot on his ear.  
“Oh, fuck, Severus,” he hissed, hardly able to control himself.  
Snape smiled gently and kissed him again on the cheek. The two spent a while longer laying there together, trying to process what they had become. The talked quietly in the low light of the room; Snape sharing more stories from his past and Harry discussing his future.


	3. For the First Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THANKS FOR READING! Make sure to comment what you think!

It had been a few days since Harry’s night with Snape. Harry knew it would be strange if he didn’t turn up to his dormitory that night, so he eventually slipped out into the corridors and rushed to his house’s common room. He had tried to walk as quietly as he could, but Ron was waiting for him. He slipped into some more comfortable clothing.  
“Where were you, Harry?” Ron whispered across the room.   
“I told you, I was helping those first years,” he whispered back.   
“There’s no way you were studying all that time,” Ron responded, catching Harry’s bluff. “Seriously, what were you doing?”  
Harry was trying to think quick on his feet. “I uh, I met up with this one girl from Hufflepuff, okay? But you can’t tell anyone about it, swear?”  
Ron laughed quietly. “Alright, Harry! Who is she?”  
“She made me promise not to tell,” Harry said, lying more. “We can talk more later, I’m tired okay?”  
“Okay, good night, Harry.”  
“Night, Ron.”  
Harry turned over, a small smile on his lips as he tried to fall asleep in the dark. Everything had happened so fast. He knew it wasn’t okay, but he wished it was. He had no idea what to expect from the upcoming week.   
Harry paused before entering the potions classroom. It would be the first time he had seen Snape since that night. His heart was beating through his chest, and he felt beads of sweat forming on his forehead. He took a deep breath in and walked into the room, keeping his head down and heading to his desk. He kept his head down through the entirety of the lecture, doodling amongst his notes and paying less than half of his attention toward the words. When he did look up, though, he noticed that the professor seemed to be looking away from him as well.   
Harry was conflicted. He felt like everyone around them would know. Besides that, though, Harry found his cheeks getting hot every now and then as he thought about Snape’s hands on his hips, and them sharing one another’s heat as they got closer to one another.  
When the lecture was over, Snape dismissed the class. Harry stood up and gathered his things. He looked up to see Snape standing at the door, letting the students out as usual. Without saying a word, Harry set himself in the chair in front of the desk his palms were getting so sweaty that he felt the need to repeatedly wipe them off on his trousers. While the professor was likely only standing at the door for a minute or so, it felt like hours; waiting to see what he would say and/or how he would react. When he finally closed the door, he turned towards the window and started to speak.   
“When we were ten years old, Lily and I had a picnic lunch on a hill that was somewhere between our houses.” He fidgeted with the edges of his cloak. Harry remembered what his cloak had felt like up close; the fine fabric slipping through his fingers as he pulled it from the man’s body. “I was able to bring some-.”  
Harry cut him off. “Professor, I will be honest. I don’t want to talk about my mother today.”  
“You’re free to go at any point. It has never been mandatory for you to stay late,” Snape responded.  
Harry stood up and turned toward his professor. “Sir, I think you know what I would rather talk about.”  
With that, Snape broke out of his false composure for a moment. “Harry, you know that what transpired a couple nights ago between us was inappropriate. You have every right to report me to Professor Dumbledore or simply pretend it never happened. No matter what, it was wrong. I am not sure we have anything left to discuss.”  
Harry crossed the room and stood a few inches behind Snape, who was still facing out the window in an attempt to not be forced into eye contact. They were relatively the same height. Harry felt like he was a different version of himself altogether, feeling both assertive and full of want. He bit his lip as though to encourage himself to speak.  
“If it is really, truly that wrong, why is it the only thing I have been able to think about for days,” he asked Snape. The was no quick response, so he continued, bringing his lips close to the professor’s ear and starting to whisper. “Why can’t I think about anything except your skin on my skin, your hands on my hips; close enough to breathe each other in?” Finally, Snape turned around and looked at Harry, lust in his eyes as well, just slightly better masked. “Why can’t I think about anything but your arms around me?”  
They were inches from each other. If someone else was to walk in, there would be no way to hide the fact that they were both clearly lusting after the other. Harry had intentionally put them into this position. He knew full well what he was doing to his professor.  
“Why are you trying to make me so weak?” the professor asked, looking between Harry’s lips and eyes.  
Harry leaned in even closer until their lips were almost touching. Very, very softly, he whispered “because that’s what I want you to do to me.”  
Within moments, they were speeding down the corridors once again, heading to Snape’s chambers in the middle of the day. It was lunch time, so the common room was meant to be empty. Even so, Snape made sure to enter first; pulling Harry behind him and locking the door.  
They looked at each other once they were in; both donning slight smiles.   
“Honestly, Harry,” Snape said. “This is very, very wrong.”  
Harry grinned a lustful smile. “Oh, I know.” With that, he pulled Snape away from the door and finally kissed him. Both of them grabbed at each other; neither well experienced, but wanting to be able to take one another in. Harry ripped his own robe off his body and tossed it across the room. Snape helped him pull his sweater over his head and toss it away as well. Once his chest was bare, Harry pulled them back into a kiss.   
Snape broke it away for a moment, and pushed Harry down onto his bed. Harry held onto him, causing the two to fall into the bed together. Snape’s hands started to explore Harry’s bare chest, trailing kisses down his throat and collar bones along the way. As he did so, Harry’s fingers fumbled gently at the buttons on his professor’s shirt. They were attached tightly, and he found himself struggling. He went to take a break from that when he heard Snape mumble “just fucking rip it open.” He instantly did what he was told, watching a couple buttons go flying as he tore the shirt.  
Soon the two were fulling undressed, taking moments between stolen kisses to just take in the sight of each other. Harry was a bit shy, thinking about the fact that his professor was looking at him fully undressed and vice versa. Most of the shyness left, however, when Snape whispered in his ear “you’re so beautiful.” Snape spent a while holding him, brushing soft fingertip strokes along his spine.  
Finally, Harry whispered “Okay,” signally to Snape that he was ready to take the next step. Both of them were fully aroused, and Harry had managed to convince Snape to indulge in that wanting feeling. “Go slow.” Snape nodded, Rolling him over.   
Snape pulled a tube of lube out of the drawer beside the bed. He liberally applied it to himself as well as Harry. He quickly said “let me know if you need to stop.” Harry nodded, before wrapping his hands around the bed posts.   
Slowly, Snape started to push against Harry’s lower half, allowing himself to enter him bit by bit. He steadied himself by grabbing Harry’s waist. Harry was cussing under his breath. It was his first time, and it was a such a strange yet ethereal sensation to have his professor’s dick splitting him up the middle. He felt lightheaded, the amazing pain bringing him closer and closer to the other man.  
When he was finally as far into him as he could go, Snape stopped for a moment. He sort of laid atop Harry; fully inside of him, and grabbed his shoulders. Snape began to use the strength he would receive from pushing and pulling on Harry’s shoulders to slowly begin a rhythmic movement. Snape’s breathing was heavy and staggering. He slowly pulled himself out almost all the way out before pushing himself back into Harry at a much quicker, more forceful rate.  
“Shit, Severus, yes” Harry moaned, digging his head into his pillow and bracing himself more. Snape’s rhythm slowly became quicker and harder, and Harry felt himself arching his back against the pressure. Everything hurt so much, but he was loving every second of it. One particularly hard push made Harry yell out loudly and inaudibly. He threw his head back and bit down on lip hard in sheer ecstasy.   
Throughout the entire affair, Snape was whispering in Harry’s ear; his voice stumbling over his own moans. He ran his hands through Harry’s hair, tugging gently.   
“Oh god, Harry,” Snape groaned.   
The two continued for a few minutes until both finished. They laid there, panting and soaked in sweat. Harry rolled his head from side to side, his eyes closed as though he was replaying the event in his mind. Snape ran a hand through his longer hair which was damp from sweating. They laid in silence for a bit, reveling in what they’d done, before Harry rolled to his side and faced Snape. Snape turned his head to look at Harry, who had a smile on his face.  
“Damn,” Harry huffed. “Damn.”  
“You would be correct,” Snape laughed under his breath. “That was incredible.”  
Harry scooted over closer to Snape, who held him in his arms for a while. They laid there, kissing and resting, forgetting all about the rules they were breaking. In that moment, each of them was solely thinking of the other.   
After resting a while, Harry leaned away a bit to look at the older of the two.   
“I’m starved,” he said. Snape agreed, so the two of them got cleaned up and headed for the dining hall; Harry trying his best to walk straight despite the pain.


	4. Anticipation

Harry walked into the great hall to get some lunch. He and Snape had spent a while longer laying down and talking before they got up and got cleaned up. Harry’s hair was flat; an attempt to get the mess out of it. If someone was curious of him, his robe was a wrinkled mess; a sign to one in search of a sign.  
After a while, he located Ron and Hermione who were sat at the end of the table. He joined them and started to scarf down his lunch; clearly exhausted and starving. Ron was going on about the upcoming quidditch tournament and talking about the odds being that Hufflepuff would win. Hermione had been listening, but once Harry had shown up, it was clear she had some curiosity about where he had been. Suddenly, she cut him off.  
“Harry’s just had sex,” she said. It was quiet enough that it was obvious she’d only meant for the three of them to share, but loud enough to show she hadn’t given that much consideration to it.  
“What?” Harry asked, startled. Ron echoed him a few seconds later with another “what?”  
“Look at him,” she directed to Ron. “His robes are all wrinkled and he looks as if he’s just wet his hair down.” She pointed. “Plus, look at his face. He’s had a shag.”  
“I have not!” Harry responded sharply.  
“Oh god, Harry, not one of the first years you were helping the other night-” Ron began  
Harry jabbed Ron in the side with his elbow. “I am not shagging any first years,” he hissed.  
“Well come on then, Harry. Who is she?” Hermione asked, eager and anticipatory.  
Internally, Harry laughed to himself at the ‘she.’ Externally, however, he simply replied, “I’m not shagging anyone. I have just been spending some time with a Slytherin. She and I kissed. That’s all.”  
Almost as if on cue, Severus walked through the doors of the great hall. His course was set for the professors’ table up front, and he was glowing. Not literally, of course, but he looked so much more at peace than he usually did. Once he had sat down, the two made very brief eye contact before once again involving themselves in their respective groups. Harry couldn’t help but let a small smile rest on his lips for a moment as he was once again reminded of the afternoon’s prior activities.   
Ron and Hermione had gone back to chatting again until Hermione happened to look up at Harry for a moment. She saw the way he was smiling to himself as he ate his lunch. She couldn’t help herself.  
“Look at him,” she nudged Ron, bringing up the topic again. “Look how happy he looks.” She took a brief pause. “You know I’m not just trying to mock you, Harry. I’m just happy to see you so happy.”  
Harry rolled his eyes. “I know, Hermione, but it is nothing, I swear.”  
Harry proceeded to promptly finish his lunch and head out of the great hall. He’d come late and left early, but he had an advanced spells class to get to. He said goodbye to his friends and left, sparing one final glance in Snape’s direction.  
***  
Harry was sitting in his spells class, paying only half of his attention to the lecture his professor was giving. He was lost in thought about the developing relationship between him and his professor. Thoughts and fears of being found out flooded his mind; along with whether or not he should admit the truth to his two closest friends. Dozens of reasons as to why he should drop his advanced potions class and avoid Snape at all costs started to come to mind. It made no sense to take such risks in a place he did not want to risk losing.  
At the end of that all, though, a few thoughts came into Harry’s head and cleared a bridge between the bad and good. He thought about how safe he had felt wrapped in Snape’s arms. He thought about the sensation of him running his fingers softly down his spine; giving Harry goosebumps and making him feel all warm. Finally, he thought about Severus’ words to him; calling him beautiful and making him feel weak in the knees. He knew he could not just pick up and leave that. Snape was the security he had lacked for so much of his life.  
So, that decision being made, he spent the rest of his class period writing out a beautiful calligraphy of a letter. The message was simple, but the writing was beautiful. It said,  
“Severus,  
I will meet you for dinner tonight on our balcony. Eight o’clock.  
-H”  
After class, he walked quickly to his quarters and sent it with Hedwig, before rushing to his next class. He thought about what to wear, knowing he didn’t want to go to dinner in his house robes again. Any opportunity to forget the negatives about their blossoming relationship would prove helpful.   
His class finished and he returned to his dormitory where he found Hedwig sat on the window ledge. She had a letter beside her and was resting peacefully with her eyes closed. Harry opened the letter.   
“H,  
I would love to. Bring a sweater. We can take a walk after dinner.   
-S”  
With that, Harry put on a different shirt and followed it with a tan jumper; both comfortable and nice looking. He took a comb to his hair, styling it more than he usually did. Finally, he re-brushed his teeth; trying his absolute hardest to look as nicely put together as he could.  
Upon arriving to the balcony, Harry stood back for a little while; watching Severus from a distance. Snape fumbled with the edges of his cloak as he paced back and forth slightly by the railing. He seemed deep in thought and possibly even frustrated, but Harry was entranced by him. Snape was a mystery and Harry was eager to try to figure him out. He was attracted to him, but it was not just sexual. He was attracted to his demeanor, his way of carrying himself, and the way he talked. Everything had moved quickly from a physical standpoint. Now Harry wanted to get to know him better.  
He finally walked out onto the balcony to meet Snape.  
“Severus,” he said, approaching the man.  
Snape turned around. “Harry,” he responded, a slight smile on his face. “You look nice.”  
“Thanks,” Harry responded. When the two met in the middle, they exchanged a somewhat awkward hug; not due to discomfort between them, but not knowing how to greet one another.   
That night, Snape had a tabled donned with white linen. A candle was lit in the center of the table beside a single long stem red rose in a vase. It seemed like the professor had set everything up to make it as obvious as possible that the dinner was a date. The two chatted and ate as they sat down together. Both were happy and comfortable; perhaps too comfortable.


	5. I'm Not Gay

I’m Not Gay  
“I’m not gay, Harry,” Snape whispered.  
It was not the first time that Snape had said this. In fact, he had made this statement to Harry several times over the month since they first kissed. So, that night, in the lowlight of Snape’s quarters while the two lay heaving for breath on the bed after having had sex did not come as much of a shock to Harry. Harry never knew how far to push the idea, seeing as Snape always seemed to say it shortly after having been in situations that would prove him pretty gay.  
“I know, Severus,” Harry said back, wiping the sweat off his forehead.   
“I mean I really don’t think I am,” Severus responded, turning on his side and looking Harry in the eyes.  
“And that’s okay.”  
Harry saw Snape go to say more, but simply laid his hand on the other’s cheek and said in a gentle voice, “you don’t need to worry about that right now.”  
Severus smiled. “You make me happy.” He closed his eyes to rest. A moment passed before another look of nervousness passed on to his face. “Does that make me gay?”  
“No,” Harry said, gently again. “You make me happy, too.” He leaned in to Snape’s face and kissed him softly. Harry gently rubbed his hand along his professor’s chest; trying to soothe him.   
“Shouldn’t you be getting back to your house?” Snape asked, leaning over to catch a glance of the clock beside his bed.  
“I’ll go back late-”  
Harry was cut off as a knock came from Snape’s door.  
Snape suddenly sat up. He looked at Harry who bore a similarly shocked expression. He jumped out of bed and quickly began to throw clothes on.  
“Seve-”  
“Shhh,” Snape cut Harry off abruptly. “Hide.”  
Harry did as he was told, rolling off the bed and hiding behind it. Snape walked to the door as another knock rang out and opened it slightly.  
“Professor.” It was a Slytherin. Harry guessed she was either a first or second year based on how young she sounded. “Suzie’s not looking well. She won’t wake up and she’s gone awful grey looking.”  
“Miss Bentley?” Snape asked. The girl must have nodded as Harry heard no response. “Go back to your quarters. Make sure everyone is dressed. I will be there shortly.”  
“Yessir,” she responded, running off.  
Snape turned back and began to tie his shoes. “Harry,” he whispered.  
“Yeah?”   
“Stay hidden.”  
“Severus, I need to get back soon.”  
“You can’t now. Someone will see you. I’ll talk to professor McGonagall later. Just stay in here.” Snape didn’t give Harry a chance to say anything else, as he ran out the door.   
Harry was somewhat agitated, but settled himself in the bed anyway. The bed smelled of Severus; his cologne, as well as the natural smell of his skin. After a few moments, he got up and began to look around the room. Their moments in Snape’s quarters had been moments of passion, giving Harry good reason to be distracted. Because of this, he had never really looked around the room. The space was not very big, but likewise not very small. The room was long, not wide, and was dimly lit even when all of the lights were on. A couple pieces of artwork littered the free space on dressers.   
Harry pulled open a drawer to find Snape’s undergarments folded smoothly and perfectly lined up. They were folded in such a way that there were virtually no wrinkles in the fabric. Harry smiled, noting the man’s fickleness about these things. The series of odd objects and such things were interesting to access, knowing his professors’ mysterious attitude/personality. He pulled open the wardrobe to find the man’s robes lined up perfectly as well. They were in order of shortest to longest with the exception of one traditional three-piece suit hung at the end. He continued to look around for a while before settling back in the bed.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - -   
About an hour later, Snape returned to his quarters, closing the door gently but quickly behind him. He turned towards the bed to find Harry curled up beneath the duvet. His head was pressed against the pillows, and the tips of his toes were curled up as though every part of him was snuggled tightly.  
Severus couldn’t help but smile at his form. He quietly removed his shoes, removed his robes, and slid into bed beside Harry. He laid on his side, just watching the boy as he dreamt. His eyes moved beneath his eyelids and his breath made his body rise and fall ever so slightly. After a few minutes, he put his hand gently on Harry’s cheek.  
“You’re gorgeous,” he whispered as Harry continued to sleep.  
He let himself watch the boy a while longer before finally waking him up by rubbing his arm and softly calling Harry’s name. Harry snuck out when the coast was clear and retreated to his dormitory. He could rarely sleep well after spending time in Snape’s, as he simply lay there with butterflies in his stomach. After a couple restless hours or so, Harry pulled a quill and a sheet of paper from the drawer beside his bed and began to write.  
S,  
I am so much more comfortable when I am with you. Tonight I miss the feeling of your hands on my waist, keeping me safe. I also miss the way your eyes see right through me. This used to terrify me, but that was before I noticed just how beautiful your eyes are.   
Will we ever be able to get away? I hate to leave you at night. X  
-H

He tightly rolled the letter and tied it off with ribbon. Hedwig took it and flew out the open window, promptly placing it on Snape’s window and returning with a quiet hum in her vocals.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Days had passed between them seeing each other. Harry’s classes were getting more and more difficult, and he found himself being forced to focus more on them. So, once again, sitting in potions class, he found himself incredibly distracted. This time, however, it was not due to the thoughts about his professor’s strong arms and soft chest. It was about his other classes.  
Snape took notice of this midway through his lecture.   
“Mr. Potter,” he said. Harry’s eyes instantly snapped upwards to the professor. “Am I boring you?” Snape had on his taunting professor look, teasing Harry the way he always had.  
“No, sir, I-”  
“If I recall, Mr. Potter, you did not do so well on your most recent examination.”  
“Well, sir, I-” He was cut off again. This time a look of shock was plastered to his face, wondering why Severus would be acting this way, suddenly.  
“Perhaps you should meet with me after class and we could discuss your options for extra credit.” His face was stern and unmoving. Harry was utterly confused. He heard a couple people snickering behind him.  
“Yes, sir,” Harry responded quietly, looking down.  
Harry spent the rest of class searching Snape’s face, trying to figure out what was going on. Snape, however, did not look at Harry once throughout the rest of his class. Instead, as always, he finished his lecture and waited for all of the students to walk out the door. He proceeded to shut the heavy door and lock it behind the last student.   
“Professor, I don’t know what I-” Harry began, stuttering out in confusion.  
Snape cut him off, turning around abruptly and pushing him up against the wall. He pushed his lips against Harry’s and began to kiss him ferociously. He put his hands on Harry’s hips and pushed their bodies tightly against each other. Harry could feel how hard his professor was against his thigh, and wasn’t sure whether or not he should let his feelings overcome him. Severus started grinding against him and Harry felt excitement turning him hard as well. Harry’s hands fell on the small of the other man’s back, rubbing from the base of his spine to the fullness of his ass. He could feel Severus’ hardness grinding against his own, creating a feeling of ecstasy.   
Suddenly, Harry pushed away. “You said I could make up some credit for my examination. Maybe we ought to work on that before we get… distracted again,” He said.  
“Shhhh,” Snape hummed, pulling Harry back against him. “I could think of a few ways,” he whispered.  
Harry’s eyebrow popped up and a small mischievous grin spread on his face. “Well tell me what you’d like me to do then, sir.”  
Severus grabbed him by the jaw and pulled his ear close to his lips. “Well, you could start by getting on your fucking knees.”  
Harry instantly dropped to his knees as he was told and started pushing aside the professor’s robes to find the button on his trousers. He pulled them down, followed by his underwear and took his professor in his mouth. He was unexperienced and, therefore unpracticed, but he found a rhythm that seemed to please Severus; who put his hands in Harry’s hair.  
“oh, fuck,” Severus gasped. He pushed his own head against the wall.   
Harry stopped and pulled Snape out of his mouth. He looked up at his professor. “Am I doing alright,” he asked.  
“You are doing amazing,” Severus marveled, leaning down and kissing Harry on his lips before he continued to suck him off. He thought about how he could hardly look at Harry without losing his train of thought. The sex was fantastic, sure, but it was so much more than that. Harry always looked right into his eyes when he was talking. He heard him and listened. He spent time with him and even initiated it. Harry made him happy.  
When he finished, he knelt down face-to-face with the other.   
“You are… incredible,” Severus said. Harry, tired as well, blushed. “Not just the sex, Harry. You… You are incredible.”


	6. Dancing in the Dark

Dancing in the Dark

Harry sat beside Ron, eyes fixed on the floor. Professor McGonagall had called together the boys of the house and informed them that they would all be required to bring a date to the ball at the end of the month. Many of them groaned, while others started discussing who they'd be bringing. Harry, however, felt sweat start to bead on his forehead. Harry didn't want to go, especially knowing he would be expected to bring a girl with him.

"Well, Harry," Ron said, poking Harry with his elbow. "I guess I'll finally get to meet that girl you've been sneaking out at night to see."

"Well, she's not really one for dances," Harry replied, wiping his hands on his trousers to dry them from sweat as the meeting concluded. He stood up. "She's a bit shy."

Ron laughed quietly. "Doubt that, Harry. Girls love dances." With that, he ducked back into the dormitory. Harry considered following, but instead decided to stop professor McGonagall on her way out.

"Professor," He called.

"Yes, what is it, Potter?"

"I am going out to the infirmary, I don't feel well."

"This is becoming more and more frequent, Potter. Is everything alright?"

"Yes, ma'am, just stomachaches."

She just looked over him for a moment, as though she wanted to say more. "Very well, Potter. To the infirmary, then straight to bed."

Harry nodded and stepped out the door before taking off down the corridor. Without thinking twice, he found himself at the Slytherin house entrance. He whispered the passcode that Severus had told him and ran to the door of his quarters. He burst in without knocking and shut the door quickly behind himself.

Severus was lying on his back, one knee up and one leg stretched flat along his bed. He had a book in his hands, and all lights except the one directly to the side of his bed were off. He had on his typical black button down, but the sleeves were rolled up to his elbows. Harry hadn't caught what he was reading, but the professor had looked to be deeply entranced by it. When Harry jumped into the room, however, Snape laid the book down beside himself and turned to face the door.

"Harry?" he asked, moving to sit on the edge of the bed. Harry walked to the edge of the bed and sat next to Snape. In an explicitly overdramatic fashion, Harry put a hand over his face and laid his head on Snape's shoulder. "What's wrong?"

"McGonagall's just had a meeting with us. She says we've all got to take girls to the ball at the end of the month."

Severus chuckled a bit. "Well Harry, I think you can survive one night with a girl at a ball."

Harry sat up straight again. "But see, that's just the thing. I can physically find a date and take her to the ball and probably have a less miserable time than I am imagining, but that doesn't take away from the fact that I don't want to." He made eye contact with Severus. "I mean there's only one person I would want to go with, and that person-"

Snape cut him off. "Harry, you know that I can't do that."

"I wasn't going to ask you to go."

"You know that in any other circumstances, I would-"

"I know."

Severus saw how Harry was hurting, but wasn't sure how to make it better for him. "Come here," he whispered, pulling Harry over with him. The two laid there, Harry in Severus' arms.

Harry felt foolish, knowing full well that even bringing up such an idea was ridiculous, but it was how he felt. Severus would be the only one he would want to bring to such an event, but not only would it be forbidden, he knew it would be embarrassing for the both of them. He kept quiet and decided to just lay there for a while, resting in the arms of his lover.

"Who do I take then?" He asked after a while of pondering.

"Well what about Miss Granger?" Snape asked.

"I would love to, but I know that Ron's already gone off and asked her. Besides, I told them that I've been sneaking out to see a Hufflepuff girl so that they wouldn't suspect us." Harry sighed. "I don't know why McGonagall is forcing us all to go anyway. Shouldn't a ball be something to look forward to?"

Snape turned to face him. "Minerva is a traditionalist. She loves the idea of boys and girls dressed up dancing into the night. She has her reasons."

After a while longer, Harry slipped out of the room and back down the corridor. He made the trip back to his dormitory before quietly sneaking in. Everyone seemed to be fast asleep. He crawled onto his bed and sat against its frame. He pulled his knees up to his chest and buried his face in them, crying silently. He hadn't much realized before this event how much he cared for Severus and how he didn't want to spend a night with anyone but him. He realized the trouble he had gotten himself into now; his feelings for his professor genuine and led by more than just his adolescent sex drive.

He sniffled a couple times, wiping the back of his hand across his face to shed any evidence of tears.

"You alright, Harry?" Ron whispered from the bed beside his.

He cleared his throat quietly. "Yeah, I'm alright Ron."

"Where were you?"

He wished he could tell him. He wanted to so badly, to have someone to share his worries with, but he knew that Ron wouldn't understand. "I can't tell you," he whispered quietly.

"What do you mean, Harry? You're my best friend. You can tell me anything." Ron crawled up onto Harry's bed and sat beside him. "Seriously, what is going on?"

Harry considered it a moment, knowing that there was always a chance that Ron would understand. He knew he couldn't tell him everything, though. He clenched his jaw and finally whispered, "I'm gay, Ron."

"Blimey Harry, is that all?" He laughed a bit and put his hand on Harry's shoulder. "You had me worried that you'd gotten yourself in some sort of serious trouble."

"You aren't bothered? That I'm gay?"

"No, I'm just glad that it was nothing worse than that." Ron paused a moment. "What's got you all worked up, though?"

"Its this damned ball. I'm upset that McGonagall is making us bring girls." Harry pushed his hair out of his eyes, noting that he would be needing a haircut soon. "But honestly it feels a little easier being able to tell someone about it."

"Sorry, Harry, that's got to be hard. Good thing is its only one night – you're not committing yourself to anyone."

"That's true."

The two talked a while longer. Harry thanked Ron for being so supportive and then they went to bed. Harry felt a bit better having been able to at least share some of the truth with his friend. He fell asleep thinking about who he could go with, before deciding he would ask a third year in one of his classes. She was always sweet and a bit shy. Of course, though, he wished that he could spend the night dancing with Snape, or even be able yo find significant time to spend with him at all. Their nights were beginning to feel too short.


	7. Hermoso

Hermoso  
The air was dewy and heavy as Harry trudged outside the castle. He’d need to get a few things together before the ball, but with just as much urgency, he needed time to clear his thoughts. He found himself best at working things out when he talked about it; whether it was to himself or an audience. This time, however, he knew it was best to keep the problems to himself. So, he walked around a bit, mumbling to himself.  
“Well you’ve gotten yourself into a right mess,” he said to himself. Everyday he woke up, he knew it would be best to stop seeing his professor. He knew that their regular meetings and obvious tension would become suspicious and that their intimacy leaking would lead to his expulsion and Severus’s termination. And that was just within the school. God only knows the legal issues it would bring. Everything he could think of told him to stop, to step back, and to look at how terrible this situation is for everyone involved. Despite this, ever inch of him kept pulling him back to Severus. He felt like he was at the mercy of his own desires. Likewise, though, so much about the situation saddened him; his inability to go out in public with Snape, his inability to share it with his friends, and most of all, the fact that they could never find any significant time period to share with one another.   
After a while, Harry began to get cold. He turned back into the castle and started to walk down the halls. It was between classes and Harry had none for the next hour-or-so. It was passing period, so naturally the majority of students were walking down the corridor. Snape stood outside his classroom’s door, watching the students in silence as he waited for his classroom to fill. Harry passed him quietly and made brief eye contact with him.  
“Good morning, Mr. Potter,” Snape said calmly, and unwavering.   
“Professor,” Harry responded, nodding his head, but not stopping for a minute.  
Their forced interactions like these were what hurt. Harry wanted to be able to stop and talk with him for some time, but it would not seem typical for the professor. Harry walked towards his dormitory, deciding to spend most of his day in until he was ready to meet up with his date, Jenny.   
A few hours later, a fourth year popped into the common room to grab something. “Oh, Harry! You going to the party after the ball tonight?”  
“Yeah, I suppose so,” Harry responded, “what about you?”   
The fourth year chuckled a bit. “I might stop in for a minute or two, but I’m planning to sneak into Cindy’s room tonight.” With that, he pointed in the general direction of the girls’ dormitories. Harry smiled back at him.  
A few hours later, Harry emerged from his dormitory donning a suit and tie. The ensemble was composed of a white shirt, white suit coat, and black tie. He wore black trousers and his newest pair of shoes. He’d gone out to buy it, knowing full well he would be expected to look nice, yet not owning many fine clothes. Ron joined him, and the two walked side-by-side to the ballroom to pick up their dates.  
“So are you actually seeing someone? Or have you just been hiding the fact that you are gay?” Ron spoke in a quiet voice so as to respect Harry’s secrecy.   
Harry felt a bit of a pit in his stomach as he thought how to answer. “I’ve been seeing someone from Slytherin. It’s nothing official, though. Just messing around, you know?”   
“Yeah, but who is it, Harry? I have to know,” Ron replied, playfully elbowing harry in the side. He stopped for a moment and his face fell flat. “Oh god, Harry tell me its not Malfoy.”  
Harry smiled. “No, its not Malfoy, Ron. I’ll tell you when I’m ready, alright? It’s a difficult thing right now for the both of us, okay?”  
Ron wanted to continue, even going as far as to open his mouth, but the two had approached the hall. Hermione stood before them, wearing a stunning silver dress. Ron’s mind instantly left Harry and moved towards her. He ogled at her, complimenting her excessively before they swept out of Harry’s earshot. She was stunning, as always. Harry, who stood searching the crowd for Jenny, began to feel nervous. Jenny was a sweet girl, and Harry didn’t want his own discomfort to ruin the ball for her. He decided to swallow his fears and move through the crowd; a smile on his face so as to be able to greet her.  
Finally, Harry laid eyes on her. She was stunning. Her dark skin was glowing in a shining golden dress. A thick black braid trailed over her right shoulder and spilled down her chest. She smiled brightly.   
“Harry!” She reached out her arms and grabbed his hands. “Isn’t it beautiful?” She pulled him through the corridor so that he could see the hall. Hundreds of candles adorned the walls; so many of them that they felt more like stars than candles. The ceiling was charmed to look like a deep purple mist. With the music, Harry had to admit that it was stunning.  
He complimented the decorations before adding, “You look so lovely, Jenny.” He earned a bright smile from her. Harry was happy he had chosen to ask such a kind and positive minded girl. He knew she would help him feel more comfortable. “Thank you for coming with me tonight.”  
The next few hours were filled with laughter, loud music, and a lot of dancing. At some point throughout the night, Harry had accidentally spilt some punch on Jenny’s gown. He felt truly awful about it and was apologizing up and down. Jenny, however, laughed it off. “It’s just a gown, Harry,” She said over the music.  
“Yes but it is a lovely gown and I’ve ruined it.”  
Jenny had grabbed another cup of punch. She looked at it a moment before turning it upside down over Harry’s head, drenching him. He jumped at first, but couldn’t be upset when she smiled and said, “Now we are even.” It was no matter, though. They’d dried off by the end of the night, having danced themselves off their feet. Harry even found the courage within himself to ask her to dance a couple slow dances with him; something he had been nervous about for a while.   
She was a lovely girl inside and out. She was pretty, and fun, and sweet. Harry knew that his life would be a billion times easier if he were to be with someone like her. He knew he would have fun and be well cared for. Each time he thought about this, though, Harry felt a pang in his chest. There was one thing, one person he wanted, and it was someone who he knew he shouldn’t have. Regardless, though, Harry tried to have the best night he could.   
When the even came to an end, a final slow dance played, and the two of them smiled at one another. “Jenny, I was invited to a party tonight after the dance. Would you care to join me?” Harry said, finding good company in the girl. He wasn’t particularly looking forward to the party, but wanted to keep himself in good spirits.  
“Oh, Harry, I’d love to, but I promised a few girls from my dormitory to spend time with them tonight. One of their boyfriend’s just gone and broken up with her right before the ball. She’s taken it rather hard.” Jenny looked sincere and apologetic.   
“That’s not a problem,” Harry smiled. “I’m just so happy you came with me tonight.”  
She smiled back and said, “So am I.” The two spent another moment-or-two saying good-byes before parting for the night. The music had gone significantly quieter, urging the students to leave and part ways.   
Harry walked back to his dormitory, intending to change out of his formal wear into something much more comfortable. After checking the clock on the wall, he found it was half-past one. The night had gone long, and while he’d had a nice time, he felt a sense of sadness. He hoped that the rest of the night would help remedy that. Once he reached his quarters, Harry slipped the jacket off his shoulders. He unbuttoned his shirt, and let it fall as well. Looking at himself in a mirror, he wondered why he couldn’t have been born a few years earlier. He reached into his trunk and pulled out a green sweater. He didn’t own much that was green, but it was a soft knit pullover that was a bit too big for him. It was comfortable. He slipped out of his dress shoes and into some trainers as well before heading for the door.  
As he went to pull the handle, however, Harry heard a coo from Hedwig. He turned to find her flapping her wings as she perched on the window sill; a small red envelope in her beak. Puzzled, Harry walked over to grab it; rubbing Hedwig’s small white head as he did so. The envelope was plain, sealed with a blank, red wax seal. Across the front, however, ran a beautiful, hand-written letter H. His fingers broke the seal, and he pulled out the small card that was enclosed. It read,  
“H,  
Nights are never long enough. If longing could heal, I would be unwounded. Meet me at quarter-past-two if you can.  
-S”  
His smile was incapable of being hidden. He’d written out some dramatic letters to Severus, but to receive one made him grin. Harry was curious as to why he wanted to meet so late when the next day would likely be better. He looked up to the clock on the wall to find it already two. He grabbed his coat and started out the door.   
Somehow Harry managed to slip out unnoticed, despite the fact that many people were occupying the common room. They were all busy discussing the night and sharing stories and plans of their dates. Harry ran down the corridor as quietly as he could, making sure to keep watch for any sign of anyone else in the vicinity. He walked down the stairs and followed the trail he was getting more and more used to taking. He went past the Slytherin common room and straight to the corridor that led to the balcony on which they’d shared some of their first intimate moments together. The letter hadn’t stated where to meet, but Harry knew.  
When he entered the first door and hopped up the short steps toward the second door that led to the balcony. Harry was stopped in his tracks, however, by a sign on the door. The sign simply said “knock.” Harry was confused as to whether or not it was meant for him, but he chose to be safer than sorry. He reached out his hand and knocked three times. A moment passed in silence before the door swung open slowly. Harry stepped out on the balcony.  
Instantly, he found the balcony transformed. Fairy lights danced around the edges of the balcony. Candles were clustered in each corner. Rose petals covered much of the ground. Soft music was playing. It was like a different world. He stepped out further, instantly awestruck. Severus stood with his back to Harry, looking out over the night. When Harry took a few footsteps, Severus slowly turned around. He smiled softly and pulled off his cloak. He laid it on the railing of the balcony. Beneath the cloak he wore a crisp black suit, waist coat, and tie. He approached Harry and took his hands.   
“Good evening, Mr. Potter,” Severus said, pulling him out further onto the balcony.  
Harry smiled, still awestruck by the scene before him. “Good evening, Mr. Snape,” he responded with a bit of a giggle. “This… all of this is incredible.”  
Snape looked him in the eyes, pulling him a little closer. “You deserve the night you want. I wanted to try to make it happen as best as I could.” He paused for a moment. “If I had a few more hours, I would have done a bit more.”  
Harry let his arms drift around Severus’ waist. “This is the kindest, most beautiful thing anyone has ever done for me. Thank you.” He reached up and laid a kiss on Severus’ lips. Severus parted his lips and welcomed the kiss. Harry had a way of melting him in all the right ways. It was wonderful and terrible all at once; a mixture of attraction and vulnerability and care that he hadn’t felt in ages.   
A moment passed before Snape pulled away. He led Harry to the railing to look out at the stars. They stood there, listening to the music and letting the light breeze of the night sway them ever-so-slightly. Harry recounted his night to Severus. When a moment of silence passed, Severus stepped out. He stretched out a hand to Harry and bowed slightly.  
“May I have this dance?” He asked.  
Harry took his hand. “Always,” he responded.  
The two stayed out for hours. They danced into the night; not necessarily talking constantly, but just enjoying one another’s company. In each others’ arms, they both felt safe; safety and disconnect from everything else.


	8. i like me better

Harry rolled onto his back and stretched as he woke up. It had been about two weeks since the night of the ball and Severus’ act of surprising Harry. The night had been magical, and he got to spend it the way he wanted; dancing with the one he cared about. Snape had shown Harry just how much he cared. They had danced the night away before spending time just holding one another under the stars.  
Since that night, they hadn’t had much opportunity to see one another. Classes were getting harder making schedules busier for both students and professors. Harry had visited Severus a couple times, but there simply wasn’t enough time in the day for them to be able spend together. It was hard, but they had gotten keen about sending each other notes on the regular in order to still be able to talk. Now, however, it was lunchtime, and Harry and Hermione were walking down the corridor together, headed for the great hall.   
“I don’t feel too good about that exam,” Harry said to Hermione, referencing the exam in their advanced charms class.  
“I’m sure you did fine, Harry.”  
“I swear I only knew about half the answers.”  
“Well, you have seemed a bit distracted lately. Did you have much time to study?”  
Harry began to answer, when Professor McGonagall swept into the corridor and called his name. “Mr. Potter!”  
He spun around to greet her. “Professor,” he responded.  
“Congratulations, I just heard the news,” She said. “I think this will be an amazing opportunity for you.”  
Harry’s face looked puzzled. “Sorry, Ma’am, but what news?”  
“Oh, good heavens, I assumed he’d come to talk to you first. Professor Snape was invited to attend the annual Convocation of Aurors at Durmstrang next week. He has offered to take you with him, knowing your interest in becoming an Auror in the future.” She paused. “I know professor Snape can come across somewhat harsh, but this is an incredible opportunity for you, Mr. Potter.”  
Harry’s face broke into a grin. “Has he really?” He asked. She nodded in response. “This is incredible!” He turned and looked at Hermione, whose face did not match his in excitement. He composed himself a bit before remarking, “I just think this will be an amazing opportunity for me to get a better look at the field.”  
After they parted ways with professor McGonagall, Hermione leaned in closely to Harry’s ear. “Are you really going to spend a whole week with Snape at Durmstrang? Won’t that be a bit weird?”  
Harry still had a bit of a grin plastered to his face. “Perhaps, Hermione, but think about how great it will be for me to get to learn under some of the best Aurors out there.” He left out the part about his excitement to spend a week alone with his lover.  
“Yeah, but still, its Snape. He still gives me the creeps. Doesn’t he?”  
“Hmm not so much anymore,” Harry replied.  
The two ate lunch before Harry found an excuse to run off. Snape hadn’t been at lunch, so he’d assumed he was either in his classroom or his quarters. He bolted down the stairs and ran straight into the classroom, opening the door and quickly pulling it shut behind him. He turned around eagerly to talk to Snape before the realization hit him.  
“Se-,” The classroom was full and Snape stood at the front, mid lecture. Harry had completely forgotten to check the time and was now stood in front of a full class. The room had gone dead silent, and even the professor stood with his mouth half open, as though he had stopped mid-sentence. Harry froze in his place.  
“Can I help you, Mr. Potter?” Everyone’s eyes were on him and he found himself genuinely speechless for a moment, running the past minute through his head to see if there was anyway their cover could’ve been blown. “Is everything alright?” Snape asked a bit quieter.  
Harry inhaled, turned to Snape, and said, “Yes, sorry sir.” He turned and left the room awkwardly, retreating to Snape’s quarters. He laid down on the bed and laughed in embarrassment to himself. “Holy shit,” he whispered to himself. He just laid there for a minute before he reached under the right side of the bed and pulled out a book he kept there. He started to read a while, figuring Severus would likely assume he had gone there.   
About a half an hour later, Severus walked in the door. He locked it behind himself before turning and looking at Harry. He laughed a genuine, whole-hearted laugh. Harry put his hands over his face before sighing “I’m so sorry,” with a laugh as well. Severus walked over to the edge of the bed and grabbed Harry’s chin, pulling it up to him and planting a kiss right on his lips. He then proceeded to pull off his cape and hang it up before joining Harry on the bed  
“So, tell me what had you running into the middle of my beginners potions lecture today, love.” Harry melted when Severus called him “love.” They hadn’t told each other they loved one another, but Severus had begun referring to him with this nickname.  
“I had a chat with professor McGonagall,” Harry responded, a grin crossing his face once again. “She informed me that you had some news for me about a bit of a trip.”   
Severus looked at Harry with a smile. “Thoughts?”  
“Did you see me burst into your classroom? I can’t believe we will actually have some time alone! Not to mention the fact that we will be able to attend the convocation.”  
“About that…” Severus began. “What if I told you that I only got invited to one day of the convocation, but told everyone here that we would be staying the week?”  
Harry’s smile only grew before he rolled on top of Severus and began to bury him in kisses. “I can’t wait,” he whispered, trapesing kisses down his professor’s neck. The two were a pile of smiles. “Do you have any more classes today?”  
“In a few hours,” he responded. Severus got up and grabbed a glass of water from the sink in his quarters. Harry followed suit.  
“So you have a few hours…”  
Before Severus could respond, Harry knocked into him. He got ahold of the buttons on his shirt and began to pull them open, his fingers working quickly and expertly. Sloppy kisses interrupted him, as his superior pulled off his robes. Layer after layer came off before the two of them stood in nothing but their undergarments. Their ferocity had turned to care, and the music Severus had put on led them to sway in each other’s arms. Severus poured them each a glass of wine as they laid down on the bed.  
Harry took a sip of his before setting it on the table next to him and laying kisses along Severus’s chest, who ran his hand through Harry’s hair. Harry was eager to go further, clearly aroused, and dragging Severus’ hands down past his waist. He pulled the other man’s hands inside the waistband of his undergarments while his kissed his neck, but Severus’ mind was elsewhere. Harry could tell he wasn’t getting anywhere with him. He kissed his way back up to Severus’ lips before looking him in the eyes.  
“What’s wrong?”  
“Nothing’s wrong at all, love. I’m just thinking.” He kissed Harry back.  
“What are you thinking about?”  
Snape brushed his hand on Harry’s cheek, who was still hovering above him. “I like myself a lot more when I’m with you,” he responded. “I feel like I have a bit more of a purpose now. I feel happy when I make you happy.” He stopped and tilted his head a bit to the side. “I have never met anyone who makes me feel that way.”  
Harry rolled to his side and turned so they were face to face again. He kissed Severus on the forehead in a soft, long drawn out kiss. “I love you too, Severus,” He responded, before laying his head down on his senior’s chest, feeling absolute happiness and bliss.


	9. Interrogation

“Harry, are you sure you’ve packed everything for this convocation? Some of the world’s brightest minds are going to be there. You can’t go looking like you’ve just stumbled out of bed,” Hermione said, having been lecturing Harry on how to behave for quite some time. She had been begging him to let her pack his trunk for him, but he had told her off, making sure he could plan for the week’s true events.   
“Yes, Hermione, I’ve packed dress robes and I am even bringing the new suit I bought in case Professor Snape and I go out for dinner.” Harry had no clue what the week would hold, so he had packed for a multitude of events. He’d minded the weather of Durmstrang, though.  
She nodded in approval. “Good.” She paused for a moment. “I really can’t believe how comfortable you are with the idea of going alone with Snape.”  
“I know he can seem to be a bit unapproachable, Hermione, but really, he isn’t that bad.”  
“I don’t know, he’s creepy. He always walks around like he thinks he’s better than everyone.” She started to laugh a bit, getting more enthusiastic with her remarks. “I bet his quarters are dingy and gross, don’t you?”  
“I don’t think h-”  
“And for a man his age, you’d think he could cut his hair, I mean it’s not the same as Hagrid or Dumbledore who have grown their looks with a reputation. He’s getting much older and he should know he’s outgrown the long hair.”  
“Hermione,” Harry tried to start again before he got cut off once more.  
“And I know that no one really believed it when Rebecca said so, but I wouldn’t be surprised to find out that he was preying on students. He just kind of has that feeling to him, doesn’t h-”  
“Shut up!” Harry yelled, standing up quickly and looking at her angrily. She stopped, mid-word, and seemed confused. Harry knew she was only messing about, but he couldn’t bear to listen to it anymore. He was desperately trying to think of a good excuse as to why he had gotten so upset that wouldn’t tip her off, but he was still so livid that he couldn’t think.  
“Wh…” She couldn’t seem to figure out the question she wanted to ask. Another moment passed. She just watched him as he still racked his brain.  
“I’m sorry for yelling,” he stated. “But Professor Snape has been helping me a lot lately. I can’t listen to you say those things about him.”  
“Helping you how?” She asked, much quieter.   
Harry considered telling her everything. He knew she wouldn’t tell anyone, but he also knew that he couldn’t bear the judgment she would give him. He wanted his friends to know; to be there for him through this. He also knew it wasn’t fair to put them in such a difficult position. They wouldn’t understand, either. Severus and Harry had been through such unique and difficult lives that they felt they could only share with each other. Like he had done for Ron, Harry decided to tell her some truth, hoping it would both alleviate some stress for her, and cover some more for him.   
“Believe it or not, Professor Snape and I have had some similarly difficult experiences in our lives. Plus, he grew up with my mother. We have been spending a lot of time together and he is helping me work through some things. He is teaching me what he knew about my parents.” He looked up at her to gauge her reaction. “All those times I’ve told you that I’ve been seeing a girl, I’ve been having meetings with Professor Snape. He is helping me figure things out.”  
“Oh Harry,” Hermione started. “I had no idea how hard things were going for you. If I had known how much he was helping you, I never would have said those things…”  
“Don’t worry about it. I’m just sorry I’ve been lying to you.”  
“It’s okay, really. If I’m being honest with you, I knew some of it wasn’t true. Ron’s told me you’re gay.”  
“Bloody hell, Ron, of course he did,” Harry responded with a laugh. That wasn’t something he thought he would do, but he could tell she hadn’t taken it poorly.  
They chatted a bit more before Hermione set the tone seriously once again. “Okay, but Harry, I’m just going to ask this once. Is that it?”  
“What do you mean?”  
“I mean, is that all that there is? You going and talking with Snape?” Hermione looked at Harry seriously. “You know what I am asking.”  
Harry ground his teeth and looked straight into her eyes. “I don’t have the slightest idea as to what you are referring,” he said. He stood up abruptly and patted himself to make sure he had everything he would need. “I have to get going.” He headed towards the door before turning back just long enough to say, “thanks for helping me get ready.” He closed the door loudly behind him.  
Not much later, Harry and Severus were in a carriage together on their way to the train station. It was a rainy day, but the weather had never bothered them less. They were talking quietly to one another. It was not out of fear of anyone hearing them, as they were alone. It was simply out of habit. They had never been able to talk normally with one another. Harry decided not to tell Severus of Hermione’s interrogation yet, knowing it might upset him at the start of their trip.  
“Where are we staying at night?” Harry asked. “You’ve told me so little about what we are doing.”  
“I have a few things planned; a couple surprises. Mostly, though, I am excited to be able to spend more than an hour at a time with you.” Snape smiled at Harry. They were sitting across from one another, but Harry shifted across to sit on the same side as the other man. He took Snape’s arm and wrapped it around his shoulders and leaned close to him. He looked down at Harry and smiled at him. “Maybe we should make a stop at our hotel before we go anywhere else tonight. What do you think?”  
Harry smiled and looked up at him. “That sounds perfect.”   
The ride to the train station took a while, but once they were there, everything went so smoothly. No one stopped them or questioned them. Hardly anyone even looked at them. They simply made their way through, found an empty cabin, and promptly shut the door and drew the curtains. They stowed their luggage and sat down with a bit of a huff. Harry knew the ride would be long, and Severus wasn’t fond of trains. They made him anxious. So, about ten minutes after they had taken off, Harry decided to distract him.   
Severus was reading a book. They shared a mutual love for reading, and often recommended books to one another. Many nights that Harry would come to visit his quarters, the two would just lay next to one another, reading.   
Harry gently grabbed the book from the other man’s hands and set it on the storage shelf above. He knelt on the seat beside him and gently rubbed his thumb down Severus’ cheek, who leaned in softly for a kiss. Harry kissed him back, sweetly, leaning into him until Snape leaned back far enough that he was laying on the bench. Harry repositioned himself so that he could lay mostly atop the other man, still kissing him.   
He couldn’t help but think about all the times he had witnessed Snape rip open carriage doors, toss open closets, and stop lock spells that students used to have a quick snog. He was not one to just let others be. He was a rule follower to most extents, stopping students from their wrongdoings and such. He knew Snape might be thinking it too.   
By the time their stop came, it was closing in on evening time. Severus led the two of them out of the station. Their hotel wasn’t far from the station, so they decided to walk. Snape did something that was a first for their relationship. He reached out his hand and took Harry’s. The two walked hand-in-hand the whole way, excitement pulsing in their veins.


End file.
